Dating advice second date dont
Dating should be fun, even if a little exhausting at times. You know yourself better than you did at 30, but you have less patience for the endless BS -- and it is endless -- and it's difficult to find someone with whom you want to spend however much time you have left.But dating can and should be energizing, exciting and educational.Far too many women over 50 are unhappy with the dating world, especially the Internet dating world. I almost always enjoy the date, whether it leads to a second one, a 10th one, a relationship, or whether we say goodbye after two hours together.(I don't date men, so I don't know, but assume many men are unhappy with it as well.) That's too bad, because the online dating experience has opened up possibilities to meet people you never would have met before, and if some of those people are creepy or boring or not what they seem to be, here's a news flash: That was true back in the days when you only met people at work, at school, at the gym, at bars, or the dread introduced to you by friends. I love hearing stories and everyone -- especially women over 50 -- has a story. ADVICE FOR MEN Along the way on this path that most people might consider a waste of time and money, some lessons have emerged.Online dating isn't something to fear even if you haven't dated for years I've been dating pretty much since I was 49. (I'll let you do the math -- I don't like saying my age out loud.) The following is stated neither with gushing pride nor cowering shame: During those past 13 years, I've had more than 1,000 dates with more than 300 different women. There are things men and women can take going into this dating abyss, but let's start with advice for you (older) guys, in reverse order of importance • Funny is good. Cynical and bitter might work if you're a dark and complicated graduate student.And that doesn't count the five "meaningful relationships" I had along the way. Otherwise, always be upbeat (certainly on a first or second date). In a nation of overweight people, keeping fit will set you apart from the crowd, and also say some good things about you without uttering a word.While most of my MBA classmates developed expertise in one field or another that earned them millions, my expertise has been... • Be energetic and adventurous, in the bedroom and out.
I am always stunned by how most people just don't listen, and how far one can get simply by listening. Most women over 50 have been in relationships with men who don't care much about what they have to say. For 10, 20, 30 years, the men in their lives have been blathering on about themselves and not listening. Maybe it's the journalist in me who always preferred interviewing to being interviewed. I ask questions that make it clear I have heard what they say and want to hear more. I've done lots of cool things, worked for Tom Hanks and for governors and CEOs and climbed mountains and such. I track the conversation -- I'm not leaping from one topic to another. But even if you don't like listening, LISTEN anyway. • First, you're not as fascinating as you think you are. I don't care if you're Jon Hamm or Joe Scarborough or the head of an investment bank or ambassador to Ghana.
Over the last few years I've received hundreds of emails from women dating widowers.