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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months, though he has been a friend of mine for 12 years. They make him meals, check up on him to see if he has packed a lunch for work, make his bed and clean his room.

That said, I believe you that this specific guy displays some signs of immaturity that make him wrong for you, for example: “always the one to initiate apologies, conflict solutions, and conversation in general.

What if I told you that if your large adult boyfriend truly wanted his living/working/footwear/conflict resolution situation to be different, it would be?

What if I told you that if the way he handles finances/parental relationships/conflict/bedmaking/lunchpacking/emotional labor/understanding the world hasn’t changed in the 12 years y’all have been friends, it is extremely unlikely that it will change now?

If you knew those things, would you stay, and have a series of difficult and frustrating talks that hurt his feelings, frustrate the fuck out of you, and change literally nothing?

Would you decide to accept and enjoy the situation as it is now?

Where his sweetness and breadth of reading and sense of humor are enough to counteract the fact he doesn’t change anything about the way he approaches conflicts or challenges?

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